Wednesday, 31 July 2013


As I walked into the room
I wondered who this was
Such a small woman
Sitting in a lonely little chair
Trying to find the end of a straw
Balancing precariously in a little plastic cup of tea

She didn't even look up
No life in her eyes
Just a blanket of hopelessness
Draped over her shoulders
Tremors wracking her frail frame
Like a violent thunderstorm shaking a once strong Oak

"I love you"
I heard myself say
"Don't cry for me when I am gone"
Came whispering back
And I felt my heart breaking into a thousand pieces
Witnessing the pain etched into her tiny face

As I looked about
All I could see
Was the oxygen tank
And the dark bruises lengthening on her arms and legs
It was as if a banner of misery
Hung in defeat

Gathering a cup
I removed her teeth and cleaned them
Reaching for a comb
I tended her hair
Lovingly sliding the clips
I touched her face and prayed

A thousand memories
Raced through my mind
She took me on the train to the city as a child
She took a job in a riverside cafe
Just so that I could play netball by the river
And I wanted to go back

Back to the house
Where I gardened alongside her
Back to the Christmas
Where I took her to the beach and we laughed
Back to all those treasured memories
When health was her friend and there was still time

Taking the deepest breath
I reminded her of the last two times
She felt she would not recover and she lost hope
Yet we made it through
She looked directly at me and said
"I won't be coming back this time"

All air escaped me
My legs turned to jelly
My mind wept
Yet I smiled at her beautiful little face
Cupped it in my hands and said
"I love you"

As I walked through the corridors
I know so well now
All I could think about was the suffering she has endured
Over the last four years
And I took my ticket on the emotional rollercoaster
All the way home

I couldn't help but wonder
Why is it so challenging for some?
Kind in deed
Good of heart
The world is a better place because she is part of it

And I feel so blessed
To call this once strong and formidable woman
Now sitting in a lonely little chair
So tiny and so frail
Just wanting peace
My beautiful mother

May God
Or the Universe
Or whatever higher power
Is out there
Bring you peace
"I love you so much Mum"

(c) Dianne Traynor 1 August 2013

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